So, it's been awhile since I've posted. I'm really a terrible blogger, let's face it. This is like that relationship in college when you were sorta in love with this guy but then every time he texted you, you forgot to text back because you became busy reorganizing your refrigerator. But, I'm not going to quit! I love writing and while I may not do it publicly very often, I think I should have the freedom to do it when I want, about what I want! Right? Right!
Reading my last blog, I was talking about being excited about diabetes. And, go figure, I still kinda am. My A1C results came back even better than I ever dreamed - 6.8! I have never, ever, in my entire life been under a 7 (at least that my late-twenty year old brain can recall). My endocrinologist started to chastise me for the sudden 3.1 drop, citing too many lows on my Dexcom graph, and I stopped him.
"You know what? I'm gonna call this a win." I could tell he had not had many patients talk back to him, because he sort of sheepishly laughed and went onto the next subject. But, I wasn't about to allow this doctor who, despite all of his knowledge of the disease, has never had to deal with a day of diabetes for himself, for real. The reason I got the Dexcom was to put my blood sugar readings into context - to know where I was going next. And even though there were some (okay, a LOT) of lows, I only slept through that terribly shrill beeping once. I don't feel in danger from the lows -- yet. I know they can be dangerous, I'm not discounting that. But I made a step in the right direction. And I felt that, at the time, I needed credit for that. This is something that I think comes up a lot with us PWDs.
Give credit where it's due, right? Don't say, "Great job, but..." Just say, "Great job." Obviously I know there were too many lows. I'm working on it. But one thing at a time! This was something that came up in my True Life episode, and it still comes up in conversations with my parents. I'm getting better at explaining my feelings to them, but it's not so easy to have that heart to heart with our healthcare professional (all the time). While some people don't need to be acknowledged at all, those of us like me -- the ones who constantly crave validation, appreciation, recognition for our hard work -- need a little pat on the back.
So, that's what I did.
And guess what? In the past 6 weeks since I've had those results, I've cut my lows. While I was regularly going low two or three times a day, now it's once every three days. I adjusted my basal and my line runs flat fasting, like ... all the time, almost. It's kind of amazing. I kind of want to fast all day just so I can have one flat line graph for an entire day. But I like food way too much.
So, what's the next challenge? Well, not dying... that's always one. But aside from that, my next goal is weight loss. I've struggled with diabulemia in the past (try 11th grade, when I ended up in the hospital for ketoacidosis for the second time), and I know that's a road I'm never going down again. I feel lucky that now when my blood sugar is over 250 for more than a few hours I start to feel sick. Back in the day, I could go days without injecting any insulin and still be functioning. Now, my body warns me that I can't go down that road. It's a blessing in disguise.
It's gonna be a journey to lose 60 pounds, but I think I'm up to it. I've been talking about this for while, I've been getting on and off the wagon. A friend recently lost nearly 50 pounds and I'm jealous every time I look at her. I think, if she can do it, so can I.
Onto the next adventure...
