psst .. remember me, diabetes? i'm back for you.

I've had an enlightening, y'all. I'm finally excited about diabetes. And not in the, "YAY! I'm diabetic!" way. In the, "I'm going to literally kick diabetes' ass and wipe the floor with it" kind of way. In november, I started getting (more) serious about my health and particularly, my weight. It's been a weird journey, and to be honest - not very successful so far. I have good weeks, then bad weeks (like.. six of them... in a row), and then when the jeans don't fit well again, I get back on the wagon.

I had been using a Medtronic Minimed pump since about 2006, but lately I felt like it was getting in the way. I had an issue with the pump malfunctioning (a third time) after a night of dancing. I was just ready for something new, I think. When you're 19 and in college and about to go on the pump, you get giddy at just the thought of never taking a shot again. I jumped on the first recommendation my doctor gave. I never tried out the options, never played the field. So, in February, I decided it was time.

What's funny is I didn't do anymore research this time around. I wanted the Omnipod and that's what I got. Maybe in another few years I'll try a different pump. Who knows. But I wanted the feeling of being "untethered" for awhile. No tubes, no clipping on belts. And so far, it's been very liberating. With the new devices, I've found a new love for my CGM, and have been using it pretty much nonstop for 4 months.

For the first time in forever, I'm excited to get an A1C done. I know it won't be perfect, but it will be better. I think it'll be under 8 for the first time in as long as I can remember. That hope fuels me. It makes me think - hey, I CAN be good at this. I AM good at this. I'm better at managing my own diabetes than diabetes is at managing me. I'm in charge, and I'm going to make sure that my little friend is on its best behavior. Well, you know ... as best I can. Diabetes is like an adolescent teenager, sometimes it doesn't listen unless you give it pizza, right?

Anyway. It's been forever and a day since I blogged. A lot of it was shame. What did I have to say about diabetes? Nothing. I wasn't good at managing mine, I had no helpful advice -- who would want to read what I had to say? But the confidence is back and while people still might not want to read what I have to say, I'm gonna do it away.