I've never, ever claimed to be good at this. But I never want to give up. So, even if there's a year in between entries, I'll still post. I am a writer at heart. Maybe sharing my experience living with diabetes isn't the niche for me. I think, if I can continue to blog with any regularity, this will be more about me -- and less about me with diabetes. There's always going to be something thrown in, but I want to expand on writing, I want to challenge myself.
So, I'm going to post the preface to my book here. It's all I've written so far. Truly, I don't even know what it's going to be about yet. Except that it will be me. In one way or another. I hope you enjoy the read.
PREFACE
Dating can be a weird world. In the
most simple of explanations, it’s a rollercoaster. First, you wait in line.
There are a hundred people in front of you. While you’re in line, they annoy
the living hell out of you. Either they talk too loudly, they stand in your
personal space, or they let too many people cut in front of you. These are your
friends and acquaintances. It seems like they’re all in front of you in line –
they’ll all get on the relationship rollercoaster before you. You get impatient. You think, "Hey! Isn't it my turn?"
But then, after what seems like decades of waiting, it’s
finally your turn to take your seat. This is the first date. You can smell the
leather of the seat. It’s new, it’s exciting. You’re not really sure what’s
coming next but you definitely want to find out. You feel those butterflies in
your stomach as the restraints lower over your shoulders. Oh shit – there’s no
turning back now.
The next couple weeks are that slow hill the car climbs. It
seems like it takes forever, but you think you’re getting to the good part. You
are starting to understand the rollercoaster. You’ve gotten used to the safety
harness, and it doesn’t feel awkward anymore. But you definitely still have the
butterflies. Just when you get to the peak of the hill, and the car tips over the
edge… this is when the ride either goes fantastically, or it goes horribly.
The downhill rush is where history is made. Either you love
it, or you hate it. This is part of the relationship where you think, “Wow…
this might be my favorite thing ever,” or you think, “When the fuck is this
horrible ride over?” Some people have way too many issues – OCD, commitment
issues, baggage from previous relationships. Sometimes they’re just
maladjusted. Other people seem to fit with you like a puzzle piece. But this is
the time of the ride when you figure it out.
As the car pulls in at the end of the ride, you have to
decide: do I get off, run as far as humanly possible, and never get back on? Or
do you stick it out for another go? Do you think, “Well, that wasn’t my favorite
ride – but maybe there’s another one I’ll enjoy.” There’s no debate that dating
always has it’s ups, downs, and inside-outs. Some people swear it off forever.
Some people only have to ride once before they figure out they love the ride.
And then there are people like me, who seem to find the rollercoasters with the
highest, most terrifying drops, twists, turns, and loops. We jump on with eyes
closed, hands up, expecting – hoping – for the greatest thrill of their life.
The one that ends with a smile, with an excited sigh, leaving you wanting more.
Then, reality strikes and we get off that ride, physically ill and sometimes a
little worse for the weather.
It doesn’t always work out. Sometimes, we swear off the
rollercoaster for awhile, to try to feel grounded again. Normal. To get our
equilibrium back. But people like me can’t stay away for long. We go back
again, and again, hoping for different results.
I still think I’ll ride a hundred rollercoasters still, to
find the one that’s right for me.
