Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Warning: totally premature

I was thinking recently -- when you're thinking about bringing someone into your life, how much information is too much? When do you bring up the "So, if I seem really out of it and tell you my sugar is low, this is what you do..."

I have always had this really stupid idea that maybe one day I'd meet my diabetic soulmate and we'd get married and totally understand and take care of each other and live happily ever after. I know that is highly unlikely, but I've adapted that fantasy to be that my future husband would understand as much as they could. But what if that person is terrified? Recently, I had an experience where I had to tell someone I was spending a lot of time with, "Look, if this happens, I need you to be able to help me." His response - "I will just call 911 - I'm not touching any needles!"

If one of someone's greatest fears is one of the main things in your life that keeps you alive, how do the two pieces fit together? Would I entertain a life of going at diabetes alone because my significant other got queasy at the sit of a syringe? Or would I send that person packing. Do I give them a chance to get used to it? The last question brings up another - what if they don't get used to it? Then I have invested all this time and emotional energy into creating a relationship doomed to fail.

I guess I am still relatively young, and a lot of people will say that I have plenty of time to settle down. But am I wrong for wanting a partner on this battlefield? Not just to brave this crazy diabetic roller coaster, but everything in life that goes along with it? I've gone almost 15 years caring for myself, I'm ready to share the load with someone else for the next 75.

I don't know much about my husband. I don't know his age, his birthday, or what he looks like. But this much I do know -- he is going to have to be tough as nails to deal with me, and my backseat passenger.

2 comments:

  1. Sounds like convenience not love don't settle for less than you deserve.

    Be well

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  2. If someone really loves you, then they will get used to it. and not only will they get used to it, they will step in the trenches to fight along with you day after day. i know i'm not the only PWD who has an amazing significant other who does that.

    you are loved just as you are. <3

    ReplyDelete